Fake smiles

First off, I didn't get into Harvard. Disappointed? Nah. Even if I miraculously had gotten in, I don't think I would have gone. Its too far and too... serious? I wouldn't have time to explore and grow as a person. It would be study study volunteer study study study join-activities-for-the-sake-of-looking-good study... etc. ICK. How horrible would that be?

So now, its either Northwestern or UW Honors. I would prefer to go to Northwestern (private, smaller, really good reputation, close to alot of med schools) but its pricey. I guess it all depends on how much financial aid I can get.... If its close to what UW would cost, I would go to Northwestern. But UW's nice too... its in Seattle which is close to home, has good korean food, had cute korean guys ;)... We'll see.



Today is Easter, the day He has risen. I can't imagine how... hard(right word?) it must have been for God to give up his only son for us lowly sinners. And how hard it must have been for Jesus to give himself entirely to his Father, even to death on the cross. That was the depth of His love for us. Incredible.

Easter is supposed to be happy, easter-egg-hunting, family holiday. And it started that way. We had our typical Sunday morning, including family breakfast, newspaper ads and comics, and chuch. Then we got home for lunch. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but my mom pissed of my dad because she disagreed with him on this little thing. In short, he got mad because he thought my mom disagreed because she was being lazy/putting stuff off until later. My mom only disagreed because she thought that it wasn't the right time to do it, especially since we were going to have company over. Whatever.

I expected this to all blow over in an hour or so, since my dad usually cools off when left alone for awhile. Also, since this was a stupid fight and the fact that it was Easter bolstered my confidence. Turned out I was wrong. My dad remained mad and mean to everyone right until company came at 4:30. My mom even explained why she disagreed to, but still he remained mad and her hurt.

Now, they have these fake smiles, entertaining our guests and acting like they are enjoying themselves. I wonder if the masks will fall of when everyone leaves or if they truly will have gotten over their stupid argument.

I know its my parents' business and I shouldn't interfere... but my dad being mad completely ruined the happy Easter environment. While we're cleaning up and all, my mom snaps at us, my dad snaps at us, my sister and I practially tip-toe around, and Austin is all confused. Thanks, mom and dad, for ruining the last family Easter I will be having for awhile.

And this has happened before. New Years Eve, my parents got into a stupid fight again, with the usual my dad being angry at my mom and my mom trying to defend herself and explain while my dad refuses to listen. I was stupid enough to try to make them stop because it was supposed to be a family holiday and ended up crying (which my dad hates). That didn't go over well.

So all the family holidays of 2010 so far have been horrible. I can't wait until I move out. I am done with my parents' stupid bickering and the tension-filled atmosphere created. I am done trying to sort out their issues because they (mainly my dad) sure as hell won't listen to me.

Well, here's to venting. I took some pictures of the kids' Easter Egg hunt we had in our backyard. I don't think I'll ever get to them, seeing as how starting from tomorrow, I start my AP studying.

Happy Easter everyone. I hope yours was filled with more love and merriment than mine.